There is a show on YouTube that connects singles. The host of the show interviews the interested party and those watching reach out on the guest’s social media to begin a conversation. Often, the guests are seeking mates who make over $100k a year or do not have children. Yet many of the requests are unrealistic because the guests often require something that they don’t have themselves.
In one episode a beautiful woman comes on the screen. She is stunning and once she opens her mouth, everything changes. She curses profusely. She is seeking an intelligent man who is making a significant amount of money and has his life together. Yet as she continues to share, there are some discrepancies in her story.
I’ve met some very beautiful women, the kind that turns heads when they enter a room. These women are breathtaking and stop traffic. Yet I’ve met so many that when they speak, their beauty often disappears. They are mean and arrogant. They feel the world owes them. It’s disappointing to see the enormous effort placed into looks and not much of an investment into the emotional, intellectual, or spiritual. It’s not just women, either. Some men fit into the same category. They are easy on the eyes but there is so much lacking.
There is nothing wrong with being beautiful or handsome. The Bible offers repeated examples of individuals who were mentioned because of their looks. In a world that focuses so much on external beauty, it can be rare when the inner beauty matches the exterior.
The term skin-deep was first stated by Sir Thomas Overbury in his poem ‘A Wife’ (1613): “All the carnal beauty of my wife is but skin-deep.” This expression means that your beauty is limited to your looks. Beauty goes far beyond that. Your beauty includes your brains, your spirit, your personality and so much more. Your beauty is also about how you take care of yourself. What you place inside your body is just as important as what it looks like on the outside. This includes who or what you allow into your body. Your body is your temple and ensuring that you see it as sacred is critical. External attractiveness has no relation to goodness or essential quality.
As a ‘vintage’ woman, according to the comedian Deon Cole who says it’s a better word than seasoned, I realize that beauty is fleeting. I try very hard to take care of myself and there are so many women over 50 who exude confidence and look amazing, which continues to encourage me on my journey to build all of me.
“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised,” Proverbs 31:30. This passage comes from one of my favorite scriptures which is about the ‘virtuous woman.’ This woman is beautiful not because of her looks but because “strength and honor are her clothing” (v. 25) and when she speaks, wisdom and kindness come out of her mouth. She is respected because of the internal beauty she possesses which can outlast the external beauty that fades.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” As I age, I am realizing the value of the characteristics of the ‘virtuous woman.’ I still focus on moisturizing my skin (which is important), but I have to also make sure I watch what I eat (and I’m not always successful), pay attention to who I am around, and the type of amount of negative energy I allow into my space and in my spirit. Each area contributes to my beauty beyond my external appearance.
Realize that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:14) The ‘virtuous woman’ knew her value.
Know yours.
(Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the president of Soulstice Consultancy, LLC and the founder of the Reconciliation and Restoration Foundation <r2fdn.org>. The author of four books, including Empowering Charity: A New Narrative of Philanthropy, Dr. Booker-Drew is also the host of the Tapestry podcast.)
