A friend acknowledges that as you grow or gain more visibility, higher levels of vulnerability can lead to greater attacks, often from those closest to you. It is important to be aware that there will be those who are in your circle who are only there to monitor what you are doing, not to learn from you. The goal is to understand that (like Jesus), you know that there is a purpose for your perpetrators. You cannot stop doing the work you have been called to, but you should not be naïve to the actions of those who pretend to be present for you. Remember, like Jesus, there is a purpose for perpetrators.
There are clues to pay attention to if your friends are truly there for you. Friends celebrate your success instead of finding fault with it. Judas was a part of Jesus’ team but was a great pre-tender. “Mary came in with a jar of very expensive aromatic oils, anointed and massaged Jesus’ feet, and then wiped them with her hair. Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him, said: “Why wasn’t this oil sold and the money given to the poor? It would have easily brought three hundred silver pieces,” John 12: 1-6 (MSG). He said this not because he cared two cents about the poor but because he was a thief. He was in charge of their common funds, but also embezzled them.”
Judas focused on his own personal gain rather than the mission and miracles of Christ. He used his proximity to line his pockets, highlighting the importance of understanding that perpetrators are not interested in others but often personalize attacks to fulfill a temporary, selfish need. Jesus was clear on his mission. “Jesus knew that the Father had put him in complete charge of everything, that he came from God and was on his way back to God,” John 13:3- 6 (MSG). Instead of hyper focusing on Judas’ behavior and intentions, he moved forward with what God had called him to do. Christ understood that Judas was a part of the greater plan, and his act of betrayal was not a surprise but fulfilled prophecy (Zechariah 11:12–13 [ESV]).
God is not surprised by haters or their betrayals but can use them for a greater plan if you move from feelings of failure to forgiveness, not for the person but for your freedom. By lingering on their behavior, you give them more control than they deserve.
Know that God sees all. Judas made a choice to sell Jesus out for temporary gain. “Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the 30 pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying: “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,” Matthew 27:3-10. The price Judas was paid was not worth it. Perpetrators are often short-sighted and cannot see beyond their greed and immediate need. Yet, there are consequences when a choice is made to harm others. Your focus is to do what God calls you to do, not seek revenge.
Jesus knew who Judas was and never tried to believe otherwise. Judas was never in the inner circle of Jesus. Jesus identified those three whom He could trust. Peter, James, and John experienced The Transfiguration, Gethsemane, and had a deep intimate relationship with Christ. They saw things that the other disciples were not privy to witnessing. Here is a lesson for all of us—everyone cannot be in your inner circle. Also know that your inner circle may disappoint you, too. Peter denied Jesus three times (Luke 22:54-62).
Jesus did not give up on the inner circle because he understood that as humans, we will fail ourselves and each other. He saw beyond the potential and possibilities.
Everyone does not deserve access to you. Make sure that you can distinguish between those who are for you and those who are not.
(Dr. Froswa’ Booker Drew is the founder, of the Reconciliation and Restoration Foundation and the president of the Soulstice Consultancy. Visit <drfroswabooker.com> or email <info@drfroswa.com>.)
