You’ve probably been inundated with the news of Jada Pinkett Smith discussing content from her new book, Worthy. She’s been on the media circuit sharing about Chris Rock previously asking her out; Tupac asking to marry her while he was incarcerated, and that she and Will Smith have not lived together since 2016. In 2020, we were all blown away when August Alsina revealed in a YouTube interview with Angela Lee that he and Pinkett Smith had been romantically involved.
He said they met through her son, Jaden in 2015. At the time, Alsina said that before he embarked on a friendship with Pinkett Smith, he spoke with Smith. “He gave me his blessing,” Alsina said. Alsina described the intense relationship and how it broke him down and that he had never experienced love in such a way as he had with Pinkett Smith. Pinkett Smith was known for bringing guests on her Facebook Show, RedTable Talk, in which she would bring on celebrities to discuss their experiences in overcoming difficult situations with mothers and daughters, adding their perspectives to the conversation.
In July 2020, Jada was a guest on her show to address Alsina’s comments with her husband present. During their discussion, she revealed that her relationship with Alsina took place several years before. It was cringeworthy listening to Will ask Jada questions about her relationship or as they described, “entanglement” with August. She said she sought a relationship with Alsina because she “wanted to feel good. It had been so long since I felt good,” she said.
I remember watching the episode witnessing how uncomfortable Will Smith looked. The conversation went from bad to horrible when at the end they said unanimously: “We ride together, we die together. Bad marriage for life.” For many, Will and Jada Smith represented the perfect marriage. They were viewed as a couple that had longevity, success, and support for one another. They were considered to be the standard for a relationship and even labeled by many as relationship goals.
They were placed on a pedestal for what a perfect relationship and family looks like. As a society, we have a problem with making celebrities a standard for success. As much as they are not relationship goals, this is a teachable moment: Your relationship should be yours and the intimate details of your private life should not be on exhibit for public consumption. Some things in your life should remain secretive and sacred.
God values marriages because it was the first institution established after the creation of man and woman: “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate,” Mark 10:6-9. Marriage is sacred and when we allow everyone into our relationship, we are destined for disaster.
There were details that Will and Jada should have dealt with as ‘one,’ and not allowed the world an opportunity to serve as armchair referees and commentators. Instead, they needed wise, Godly counsel. “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels. The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise,” Proverbs 1:5. Instead of going to the public, seek God and those with Godly wisdom. Relationships can be challenging. There are moments of bliss and moments that are bothersome. Relationships are never perfect because we as individuals are not perfect.
We bring our faults and insecurities to relationships. It’s unrealistic to believe that it is always good or always bad. Let this situation be a lesson on the importance of discretion. The biggest mistake that many of us make is going to social media to air our personal business. “…aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs,” 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, ESV. Stop airing your dirty laundry to everybody. Some stuff should stay sacred.
(Dr. Froswa’ Booker-Drew is the host of the Tapestry podcast and the author of three books for women. She is also the vice president of Community Affairs for the State Fair of Texas. To learn more, visit <drfroswa.com>).
