This past weekend, I had the opportunity to attend a retreat, and it was powerful. I didn’t realize how much I needed to not only get away (even if in my city) but to be in community with others. It makes a difference when you can experience a room full of joy and excitement. It is impactful when you truly witness healing and release.
One of the many impactful speakers shared her journey and without divulging too many details, she experienced a tragedy, a violation in her life. I can only imagine how others saw her and turned their heads, pretending they didn’t see her covered in blood. One woman took the chance to approach her and seek help. The speaker mentioned that to this day, she didn’t learn the name of the selfless stranger, but she remembered how this lady treated her with kindness, dignity, care and respect and was not afraid to touch her blood covered body.
The speaker reminded us that too often, we miss the mark. We are too busy trying to reassure others by saying phrases like ‘things will get better’; ‘it could have been worse’; ‘I’ll pray for you’ we do nothing else.
She reminded me of the importance of just being present, of not trying to make things better with useless words but truly acknowledging what the individual has gone through. She helped me to see how I had been mistaken in my desire to help but possibly creating more harm by trying to see the bright side of things.
Sometimes in the moment, you just need to deal with what happened. You cannot move forward to what is next because you are still processing the past and how you are feeling right now.
Many of the messes in our lives are a result of our eagerness to do something instead of taking the posture to listen, to learn, and be available. This was a challenge in my relationship with my daughter. As much as I wanted to help her, there were times she just needed me—fully available, listening with no solution.
I marvel at the example of Christ who demonstrated what this posture looks like in the way he encountered those he healed. Their healing was often based on their acknowledgement that they knew they needed it. Whether it was healing Peter’s mother-in-law of a fever (Mark 1:29-31), the man with leprosy (Matthew 8:1-4), or the woman with the issue of blood (Luke 8:42-48) and many more, He made space for each of them. He saw them. He heard them. He cared for them.
We have the ability to heal others today through our words. Our prayers have the power to heal just as our words which can soothe, support, and sustain others when they need it. More often than not, our words and actions often cause more trauma to those who are suffering. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ,” Galatians 6:2.
What would it look like if we tried to listen more, to be available more and to love on others more? “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor,” Romans 12:10. I want to do a better job of honoring others in my words and actions. “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up,” 1 Thessalonians 5:11.
I do not know what I would have done if I saw that young lady covered in blood. I would have called the authorities for help, but I’m not sure I would have done what the Good Samaritan did. In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus tells a story of a man who had been attacked and how several people walked by him. But a person of a different background (the Samaritan) decided to step in and help, despite the racial issues that existed between the groups. He did not allow those differences to stop him from showing up to care for another human.
In your dealings throughout the week, how can you be present and show up for those in need—those who may be different from you? Instead of giving empty words, give your heart, your time, and your hand.
(Dr. Froswa’ Booker Drew is the founder of the Reconciliation and Restoration Foundation and president of the Soulstice Consultancy. Visit <drfroswabooker.com> or email <info@drfroswa.com>.)
